My mother died at 37. I’ve always been rather flippant about death, knowing very clearly it is a part of life and happens to the best of us. Knowing also there is no going back, there is nothing more final and it is the ultimate void.
I had a health scare recently; it changed me. It made me move slower and be more careful with myself, kinder, gentler. I liked that. I went to bed earlier instead of thinking of all the small things I could do before I let the day go.
I wondered what else I might like to do with my life? Thinking it was not going to be a long time, I decided nothing much, I was pretty happy with what I had. Perhaps visit an isolated island off Tasmania where the wind howls and the plants have adapted into beautiful forms and the colours are muted. Mostly I wanted to get organised.
I would get rid of all the superfluous clothes I have and keep the most favourite for my 2 girls – I’d already been through my cupboard and made my imaginary pile. I’d record my voice and make a list of all the worldly knowledge I’d like to pass on, write some cards for birthdays and special occasions, like weddings and births I’d never get to see, and make instructions on how to suitably celebrate Mothers Day, as I know all these times can be challenging.
Finish projects that I’ve started, and not worry about others that no longer seem important. Go through all my oddments in the garage – sorting and flinging. Read several books (rather quickly) that sit on my shelf before I never get to find out what’s in them! Eat yummy food that makes my body feel loved and nourished and cared for. Get my business things in order – how best to pass on the legacy of the wonderful world of henna I’ve created, grown and loved, so that it can continue to bring joy to others. Make photo albums and cuddle my girls a lot.
As it happens it seems I have more time on my hands, the doctor has reassured me and apparently there’s nothing wrong with me! However, I still feel compelled to make sure I do all of the above, plus more. Make life juicier, nourishing, sustainable and exciting, take risks, have the courage. Always have the premise that I am in the right place at the right time. Create the great adventure, do rather than just thinking of doing. Be kind. Open my eyes, my heart and my soul wider. Dream and make things happen. Continue to breathe deeply, laugh fully and always, always see the beauty.
